Truth is that I've been on a hunger-strike in protest of the low readership of my blog. I was hoping to catapult myself into the national spotlight by eating only the tears streaming down my face. The problem is that I forgot to tell anybody that I was protesting and now, alas, I am dead. The good news I can still post remotely via my BlackBerry. Hell is full of BlackBerries.
It would have been much better had I over-eaten myself to death. Then at least I'd have my 15 minutes on the Jerry Springer Show. I could just see myself plopping down on the stage and rolling bodily into the audience like a human bowling ball. Then I might have been somebody! I could have been a contender!
Can you hear the crickets chirping?
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6 comments:
I hear no chirping!
Bathroom Review
You're killing me softly with your song.
BTW, that's quite a public service you've created on your blog. A royal flush. Ha-ha-ha , oh how I crack myself up.
Just the mention of Jerry Springer should get your blog into the big time. But to what avail? Don't worry, grasshopper. 'tis the beginnin' o' th' year doldrums. Everything off to a bang, then general apathy. The biz'll pick up. It's always this way. China shutting down for the new year real soon. They do that for a couple of weeks. Right there, you've pretty much lost about a billion of your fans for an 'event'. They'll be back. Buck up.
Sorry you died. I'll miss you.
Atchualy, I been noticin that bloggin energys been in th tank since Jan 1. I was about a day away from linkin up 3 new blogs at th JPS when evry one o th 3 postd some version of th ol "I aint got nothin t say" messidge. Needless t say, them blogsr now on Polanski Probation. Also sompm like 3 o th blogs I already got linkd up are pretty much flatlinin these days.
I toldja a wile back I was plannin on tryin t drum up some readership fer some o th blogs that I think my reggaler readrs been avoidin too much (like Bloggy-Blog) -- but now I think my reggaler readrs are just avoidin bloggin itself!
Now THATS CREEPY!
Kids: I got insanely busy at work. However, the world will once again benefit as I find time on my hands to blog... The more I do so, you can be sure that my finances shrink and Rome burns.
Hey I'm down here and I haven't seen ya, I've made a crap load of blackberry pudding............... Oh well I'll just have to keep looking.....Gerit?....Hey GEEEEEERRRRRRRRIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!!!!
Ah Screw it I'm going to start eating........YUMMY!
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