Mortality and Dated References

Sometimes people ask me, "How do you keep your hands so soft, so supple?" And of course I tell them "Palmolive dishwashing liquid". Then I pick the person off the floor and go on to explain, "Once I discovered how youthful-looking Palmolive detergent got my hands, I began to build a whole lifestyle around it".

Now I top all my foods off with a dollop of Palmolive liquid. I take sips of it from a flask throughout the day. As a result, I have a continuous flow of soap bubbles percolating from my nostrils. People seem to stay their distance (except for asking about my amzingly soft hands). I am at peace.

madge died in '04