I was going to write someting modern and caustic about Santa Claus and his hairy sack full of guns and cocaine but, really, haven't we had enough trash-talk as a nation? TV is rife with gangsters tripping grannies attempting to cross the street; Republicans and Democrats are eating each other's flesh; everywhere liar's pants are on fire; knuckles and faces are colliding every which way ... and I say enough!
Everything will be positive on Bloggy-Blog from now on. I'm turning a new leaf, as the kid's say.
What's wrong with saying I love puppies in a basket? Furthermore, I'm not too ashamed to embrace the color yellow or skip merrily into lanes of on-coming traffic. I will even think of something positive to say about Oliver Stone, Barry Manilow, The Osmonds and processed cheese. They are all living things to be respected.
And so my smartypants sarcastic friends (especially you east Hollywood Myspace hipsters), I must depart from you. You will see me ascending into the sky and on to a higher calling. We will all be together, by and by.