Monday, March 26, 2007

The New Used Car Smell

I recently bought a new used car. I'm OK with most everything about it but someone at the dealership sprayed the interior with some sort of new car smell. Or, perhaps, the previous owner was a stripper at Jumbo's Clown Room because it smells like the cheapest, gamiest, perfume in the world.

It makes me wonder how many lunkheads, finding themselves dubious as to the purchase of a used car, were brought over the threshold by the seductively tacky new car smell? I'd personally prefer the moldy sandwich under the seat essence, if given the choice. At least the object can be located and removed --or dangled fetchingly from the rear-view mirror.

Can anyone recommend an antidotes for getting rid of the fake new car smell so that my shallow consumerist world won't be unsettled?

14 comments:

Martha Stewart said...

The solution is simple. Just start wearing some really cheap, strong cologne. Then you won't notice the smell of the car. I really do worry about your lack of common sense, Geritopia.

Geritopia said...

Thanks for your uncommonly common two sense. I don't wear cologne, thanks. It's enough sacrifice to have to wear pants while driving.

Joey Polanski said...

Too bad yer new usd car dont smell like th inside o yer moms purse, huh?

congressman john murtha said...

Dope, smoke lots of dope. Maybe pick up some folks after a Reggae concert...

Anonymous said...

skunks, or What about that Ozium crap?

Geritopia said...

Wow, these are all great ideas. Thanks JP and the person who writes more than once under various pseudonyms. The answer to all my car smell troubles is so obvious now. I owe each and every one of you a moldy sandwich.

Cocovan said...

Smear some dog crap on your upper lip like I do, Then not only does everything smell like it, But you walk around with a Don't F%$#K with me look all day long.....Try it, It works for me!

Anonymous said...

Air it out, for days-not very functional, I know, but it's about the best you can do.

Or, try one of these things: http://www.sharperimage.com/us/en/catalog/product/sku__SI633

or: http://www.sharperimage.com/us/en/catalog/product/sku__SI629BLK

How do you know martha and murtha are the same person?

Anonymous said...

sorry, links didn't work:

here

or or here

and, at least it gives you more oxygen.

Anonymous said...

or here

Geritopia said...

cocovain - you are one fine smelling crusader with yer warrior face paint made o' poo. Didn't I see you in some WWF video game about the apocalypse?

anonymous - thanks for the effort. those anti-stink devices are pretty reasonably priced for that James Bond demographic of superfluous toys. I dunno. I think I might just ditch the car and run away.

missy said...

I hear if you hit your head really hard, it can alter your sense of smell, or knock it out all together.

paul said...

Clothespin-on-the-nose. Ta daah.

Geritopia said...

Missy - that is your wish for me? A curative concussion is truly the road less traveled.

Pauly - then my voice will sound like Fran Drescher. Thanks for helping me with my celebrity name recall handicap.