Monday, October 09, 2006

Deer These Days

These photos were taken this last weekend in Topanga State Park.

I don't know whether any of you have been reading up on these things but we have a real problem with the local deer population in the Santa Monica mountains. Their numbers have been infiltrated by Communists who, by exposure to the primal sway of jazz records, have converted their once abiding ranks into roving bands of loitering ne'er-do-wells. It's a sad and dangerous situation. This poppy consuming deer seen above couldn't even stand upright. All he could do was look for loose change on the ground and mutter incoherently.

The little guy in this shot approached and asked, "Please sir, can you spare a moment for global warming?". Naturally, I approached in good faith to sign his petition when a sudden burst of flames issued forth from his mouth and singed off all my hair. Then, like something from a horror movie, his head detached like a projectile heading right at me. With bulging red eyes and fangs extended, it began frenetically chewing open the veins in my neck. All I could do was protest that I was "on a nature walk to sample some fresh air, getting centered" ... that I was "hip" & "cool" but to no avail!

As I fled down the path in the opposite direction, I interrupted this pair's game of mumbletypeg. They blocked my way, took all my money, my clothes, and everything. Then I was trampled to death and I'm now blogging from the great beyond. Thank you reprobate Communist deer!


Anonymous said...

Should have shot 'em. With a gun. Man is the only thing that can control any deer population. mmmm, tasty venison.

*ONLY shoot the genetically superior male deer with large perfect antler sets-they look much better mounted to your wall, and you know that you're doing the right thing to weaken the gene pool.

damned deer.

Cocovan said...

I love you BAMBI!

Joey Polanski said...

Okay. An you DINT get all th fire-breathin an head-projectilin uploaded t YouTube?


Charlie Bo Barley said...

I think I read on Wikipedia that the "Flaming Deer Mouth" sequence was an out-take from Dandy's Inferno. Apparently the producers thought it was too much of an Ed Wood rip-off.

Anonymous said...

But aren't you glad to have SOMEBODY chewing on your neck?

Geritopia said...

Anony1: There are plenty of deer here in the afterlife. I tried shooting them but they just laugh and put scratches on the finish of my car with their hoofs. Request Plan B.

Covan: We know that but which way to the Poo?

Polansk: I put your message through a spell checker and it came out with "you will win the lottery". thanks.

Barley Bo: The greats always steal, but actually the flying head with robot activated teeth was probably done first by Art Clokey in a Gumby thing. Hitchcock always stole from Clokey.

Anony2: That's true and I relished it. I usually have to pay for it... with the same results too.

paul said...

Once and for all, is it, "Go TOWARD the light," or, "Go AWAY from the light?"

Cocovan said...

Turn left at Albuquerque......