Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Podcast #1: The Lost Dick Edgemont Tapes

Being a culturally sophisticated fan of this blog, you'd rather listen to rare out-takes and demo recordings vs. slick professionally produced music, right? I know I would. Therefore, to celebrate the 1st anniversary of Bloggy-Blog, I'm tossing in a bonus Podcast. [For those of you without pods... no worries. You can listen too.] Today's Podcast containts 4 tracks from an unfinished CD project called "Explode on the Scene" by Dick Edgemont, which I attempted to Produce (or 'Spectorize') in 2002.

The back-story on Edgemont is appropriately as shadowy as the man himself. He's one of those legends, like Daniel Boone or Bigfoot, whose legacy has been shaped mostly by local yarns and few verified facts. Trying to sift the fiction from the myth is enough to make you want to throw up your hands and run screaming in a zig-zag pattern into the horizon.

Dick Factoid: Dick Edgemont was an integral shaper of the fledgling suburban lounge lizard scene centered in and around the city of Torrance, California. There he shared the pale spotlight with other small-town acts like Gil Bernal, Herbie Tepper's "TNT", The Romans and other yokels showcased in dubious cocktail hideaways with neon titles like: "The Hot'n'Tot", "The San Franciscan", and the "Open Hearth". Dick's strong suit was his nimble solo trumpet stylings, along with composition skills that would give Herb Alpert night sweats.

Edgemont was also a soloist in the rough-and-tumble game of life. Although he was often spotted with a variety of floozies hanging on his arm, his dalliances were always stormy and short-lived. For years Dick's performances were interrupted by a string of humiliating encounters with a mysterious platinum blonde. She'd rush the stage, shoving a flaming hairpiece into the bell of his trumpet, often triggering the automatic overhead sprinkler system. Later in his career, Dick would only make unannounced appearances, always slipping out the back way and never saying much except, of course, through the language of his music.

Finally in the mid-80s, in front of an audience of five Torrance waste management engineers, Dick played an unusually spirited trumpet improvisation. That's when something truly otherworldly transpired. In an exuberant spasm, Edgemont had chanced upon a note outside the musical scale that nobody had ever heard before. This errant note apparently violated something in the laws of physics, rending the fabric of spacetime and causing Dick to vanished into thin air (leaving only a smoking shoe behind), never to be seen again!

Then in 2002, Edgemont Estate representative and music impresario Richard Alan Crane and I hashed out a deal which had me "producing and finishing off" a batch of Dick E tracks of an unknown vintage. Indeed, there were several dusty reel-to-reel tapes stored away in a hat box --originally engineered by Richard Derrick, who also played a smooth brush drum kit on many takes. Naturally, I threw myself into this project utilizing my humble home studio; even fiddled around with various graphic concepts for the CD.

Unfortunately, "Explode on the Scene" turned out to be the kind of uphill endeavor that I couldn't quite surmount. That's because pasting studio overdubs over live takes just didn't fuse cohesively with the spirit of the thing. There were, however, various bright spots, including solo guitar work provided by Mr. SS Seatbelt.... and a other moments which stay true to the "Edgemont ethic".

So click HERE and enjoy four never-before-released Dick Edgemont CD tracks captured in their various stages of decomposition. Or don't.


Joey Polanski said...

Dick blows.

Geritopia said...

He never inhaled. It was a rare ailment. At least he never sucked.

Charlie Bo Barley said...

Viva Edgemont! This EP is a soundtrack falling somewhere in the cracks between The Pink Panther, The Monkees' Head, and The Banana Splits.

I predict a neo-retro Lounge revival any minute now. Yma Sumac and Annette Funicello are waiting for you.

Cocovan said...

My panties are drenched......

Geritopia said...

Yet another happy customer explodes on the scene.

Crane said...

Dear Geritopia,

This is Crane, Representative/Lawyer of the Dick Edgemont Estate. On behalf of Dick's "Immediate Relatives," his "Lost Tribe of Illegitimate Children" and a "Cargo Cult" dedicated to his legacy in the South Seas, they, as well as I, would like to profusely thank you for the honorable homage you have given Dick here at Blogg-Blog (the coolest blog on the web). And when it's all said and done, this most likely will be the most "Lime-Light" his name shall ever see.

Although Dick is much loved by a few aficionados of the early evolution of the "Eccentric Jazz/Lounge" musical movement, and is a legend (especially in his own mind) of all underdog musicians/artists, he has over time often been greatly misunderstood by those who had to actually deal with him in person (like the taxman and his landlord).

Personally speaking, he is quite a complex enigma of a human being. For I have often pondered the basic question of "just what is he really doing here?" Of course to his fans, his reason for existence is obvious, "Blow that Horn!," just like Gabriel does. But having to deal with him from day to day....I have found, that he is a man who has a diversity of conflicting interests and ambitions. For other than being an accomplished musician and songwriter, he also dreams of becoming the President of the United States, as well as being an Astronaut someday for instance.

Yet, he has had many frustrations when dealing with this world in whatever endeavor he strives for. One analogy to help explain who he is, is that he's a mixture of Sir Lancelot and Don Quixote. Fighting for truth and justice by spreading it, in a cruel conspiratorial world, as he takes on the grand challenge to defeat those arrogant evil dragoian beings (and occasional bad windmills) who cause so many problems by standing in our path to the "Golden Age."

He also has such a zest for life, that sometimes he's been known to party too much on occasion in some judgmental people's minds. Yet, the fun that he always inspires, has never gotten so out of control as to have started any physical fights. In fact, the only fight he ever got into in his entire life, was in self-defense in seventh grade (he won with one clean punch). This record (along with the one's he's played on) is quite amazing, considering all the riots and barroom brawls he has survived.

Although, his greatest love..."music," (his main quest) where he finds most joy in creating, has also become one of his "biggest blues" due to his being so obscure. A paradox to say the least. For when always living in the shadows of any recognition for his art, he wonders about the meaning of existence itself, like a mystic wandering fool as he treks through endless hot desert sand dunes without leaving a trace from his footprints. At the same time, always feeling and processing the pain of this world. That, along with enduring the many blisters on his feet, as well as on his playing lips.

That being said, he is very stoic as to "all things happening for a reason" in the ultimate "Big Picture." Through all the stormy trials and tribulations in his life, he ultimately always seems to find a way to smile and or laugh through all the absurdity and insanity. Like they say, you've got to experience the blues....to ever be able to sing or play them.

I also have to share some sad news with you now, and that is, that Dick Edgemont has been "missing in action" for some months. Sure there have been some impersonators popping up here and there on the club circuit that I have had to file lawsuits against, but the "Real Dick" is once again, in a very deep "incognito." At this point, I'm beginning to suspect foul play.

There are clues though. In fact, in the last recording he did, which is at the end of your wonderful montage of some of his greatest hits, the various background sounds seem to reveal just exactly what happened to "the Man." For we hear honking car horns, screeching tires, sirens, his clumping feet to his apartment, the click of a cigarette lighter, a laughing dame, gunshots and then groining sounds.

What I'm saying here, is Dick's part-time "Psycho Girlfriend" did him in. Yes, that "Mysterious Platinum Blonde Bombshell Fanatic" that you made reference to in your blog who would bum rush the stage with her "Flaming Hairpiece," is no other than "Tricksy!" It sure seems to me that that "Crazy Broad" got the "last laugh" on Dick. I will relay this pertinent evidence to the detectives downtown immediately. Then again, as you know, Dick Edgemont has faked his death before (for various reasons).....so, "whatever."

Through it all, the man known as "Dick Edgemont" has changed the world as to making it a better place. No matter how big a difference that has been, he has made one nonetheless. And in many ways, he will always be the "Common Man's Hero." Setting the example that it's not finding "Fame" that is important in life.....but the real and true impact of goodness that you make to the world around you.

For every ripple in the cosmic ocean, ultimately becomes that of a greater wave, that then helps to wash us all, to that distant shore....on the other side......of reality..........

Thanks again for your outstanding artistic productions of the Dick Edgemont Archives.

in care of the
Dick Edgemont Family & Friends

Anonymous said...


how sad.

Dick's Family

Geritopia said...

So Crane, in so many words, I take what you're saying to mean that Dick's dinner plate will be getting cold this evening. ... on the other hand Anonymous here has found photo evidence of Edgemont's family! Personally, I think he's dead as a form of protesting overpopulation. He's doing his bit.

Crane said...

Well, his dinner plate was usually cold because he didn't have a way to heat his food (his stove was always broken) so he mostly ate out of a can. But I know what you're implying.

As to those pictures being his real family, I believe that those are of his poster family that he once adopted over the internet.

Speaking of his family.....man, I'm currently dealing with several welfare mothers and their kids claiming to be Dick's heirs. Yeah, they all started popping up when he went AWOL again.

As it turns out, they claim that Dick often talked about a treasure map that leads to the Templar Knight's Booty that supposedly was brought over from Europe years ago. They say that he hid this map somewhere in his apartment. What a nightmare! He never told me about it. I really don't think it exists though. I think he just told them that as to have faith in him so he could stay over on a cold winter's night.

When it comes to overpopulation, you might be surprised to hear that he doesn't (or didn't if he's really dead) believe in that being the root of the problem. He believes that it's because of the greed of the International Bankers (also known as the heads of the Illuminati) that there is so much starvation.

He feels that these powerful elites already have free energy that was deciphered/re-engineered from the Roswell Spaceship crash in 1946. And that if only they would share this with the world, we could turn all deserts into farm lands. Thus, there would be plenty of food and room for everyone.

And then of course, by the time we really started to run out of room, we could have already built colonies on the Moon or say Mars with the Spaceships that they also already have.

He learned much of this from his good friend Steven M. Greer, M.D. (http://www.disclosureproject.org) who has a growing movement of top lawmakers on Capital Hill who believe what he says to be the truth.......

Anonymous said...

I'm a Private Eye/Dick who would like to throw his two cents and or gummy shoe into the stew with the low down on this cat they call, "Dick Edgemont."

Seems that he's been around the block a few times (to say the least). From my investigation, I came across another one of his musical websites. It's a cyberspace joint he hangs out at with a few songs that have never been released to the public @ http://www.purevolume.com/dickedgemont

Geritopia said...

I hereby declare further commentary on Dick Edgemont CLOSED.

Thanks and best wishes,

The Bastard