Sunday, February 18, 2007


Sometimes we human primates look back and wonder how our ancestors managed to survive without the handy gadgetry of modern life. And speaking of my favorite handy gadget: "Sixfinger, Sixfinger, man alive! How did I ever get along with five?"

It looks like a finger but it DOES ALL THIS: 1. Shoots cap bombs. 2. Launches S.O.S signals: "Help, I'm being held hostage by a projectile-launching plastic finger attached to my hand!" 3. Writes like a ballpoint pen that uses your own blood. 4. Shoots "secret bullets", which is far better than bullets having your return address written on them. 5. Shoots "message missiles" --and really, whose finger doesn't do that? 6. Shoots "fragmentation bomb", as opposed to those generic bombs that burst leaving clowns and ferris wheels in their wake.

yeah, i know

Reviews of Sixfinger:

"I adore sixfinger. I got one up on the gun rack of my truck and 7 more pickled in a jar."
-- Caesar "Chip" De Longpre

"Oh heavens no. We've seen enough devastation from Sixfinger"
Rance Binyard


Cocovan said...

I was amazed that you didn't mention the secret code clicker, As far as the six finger thing I had to have my removed from my nose........Secret Agent know....

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your experience

Cocovan said...

Your welcome

Joey Polanski said...

I jus pointd to a bank tellr an said, "I got me a Sixfingr, an I know howta use it."

She gave up th money right away.

Bond, James Bond said...

My Sixfinger got me stopped at airport security.

Geritopia said...

coco - and what about the pneumatic clicker mode for that deep-bore nostril goodness?

slyam - and thank you for the quality of your patronage.

polanski baby - i tried that one once but had my sixfinger bit off. they always regenerate though. you can't beat american craftmanship.

bond - that's tough.

missy said...

I really did know a guy who had a little scar on the side of each hand. He was born with a sixth finger and his parents had them surgically removed at birth. They didn't want him to be ridiculed his whole life.

Charlie Bo Barley said...

One of my camp counselors had six toes per foot, which we thought was hecka cool. I'm not sure he ever considered the marketing possibilities.

Geritopia said...

missy - if you must have a finger removed, surgery is better than the string and doorknob solution.

bo barley - topper toys would'a sued for copyright infringement, although i don't know if Sixtoe sold too well in the States.