Monday, November 20, 2006

Extra! Grumpypuss Collapses But Still Loves You In His Own Way

Regarding the forthcoming Beatles Love album, "audio phiilia" writes (responding to our own Grampy Grumpypuss' critique):

"The Smash Mix contains some great mashups. But then again, I'm on myspace, so I bet a geezer like you will loathe everything it stands for."

Another intreped Bloggy-Blog fan, "missy", also delightedly chimes in:

"There is one hack writer for the Chicago Tribune who called it "gimmicky". You should look that guy up and have a beer with him. "

Well I hope you're all happy now because Grampy Grumpypuss has taken a turn for the worse. Yes, Grumpypuss collapsed while listening to Randi Rhodes being interviewed on the Larry King Show (King being his favorite talk show host). When Rhodes ignored King's attempt at a station break and rattled on with one of her relentless tears against Orrin Hatch and the Osmonds, Grampy flew into a tantrum, resulting in lodging his tusks into the TV screen and a burst aorta.

Grumpypuss demonstrates the Charleston, (the REAL dance that you kids should do
instead of listening to mashups) --23 skidoo!!!

Won't you please send all your money to "Help Grumpypuss Fund. P.O. Box 118 Grand Central Station.

And remember the geezer you help today will be the geezer who ridicules your lame attempts at doing the Charleston in the afterlife. How completely humiliating for you.


paul said...

The Charleston will never catch on. Mark my words.

missy said...

Hey gramps, you sound tightly wound. Like you need a trip to Vegas to see Cirque du Soleil. And you could maybe take in a lap dance while you're there -- I hear those are legal in the Silver State.

Geritopia said...

I'll tell you what makes me grumpy, trying to draw Grumpypuss on the track pad of a laptop computer.

Is he a walrus? -a fanged cat?

I dunno the answer but I do think that the Charleston is the most subversive dance to upset your parents with. I stake my reputation on it.

Meanwhile, I'm waiting for missy and bus to vegas and bingo nirvana.

Joey Polanski said...

He is th fangd cat.




Goo goo g joob.

Anonymous said...

Don't go to Vegas for Bingo and Nirvana. The lead singer died years ago.

missy said...

There is something meta going on with you, Grampy, because the Walrus is, after all, Paul. Maybe you yourself are a mashup?

Geritopia said...

I'm all about the meta, dig? You've just blown my cover and unraveled the mystery of my oeuvre. Curses! Now I must fade into the fog of the night and reinvent myself once more.

Anonymous, with all his/her hit-and-run commentary, will take the wheel while I'm away.

In observance of this momentous occasion, Polanski will now lead in singing the National Anthem. It's called "Teen Spirit Mashup".

and I don't care about the Beatles mashup in regards to being an affront to a holy catalogue of precious pop, like the rantings of some kind of infantile obsessive (my infantile obsession is reserved for debating whether Orsen Welles' best work was his Gallo Wine commercials over "Magnificent Ambersons"). You've got it all wrong. I'm saying that the priorities of the remnant Beatles strike me as inverted, when a good clean re-mix of the originals was already way overdue and could have taken precedence years ago. It doesn't matter, as a comet is hurtling towards Earth this very moment and Paul's busy-body preservation of legacy will not just be sullied but completely vanquished.

I demand a refund!

Mashups are novel and fun (at best). Don't let me unsettle you. the kids love 'em and we know Youth IS Truth; that to question anything new is to shine a light on one's own closed-mindedness. never ever let me catch you doing that! Never question the market, the shiny, the bubble-wrapped. Clearly, Paris Hilton possesses a wisdom beyond my reckoning. viva la abercrombie and fitch and emaciated, heroin-addled supermodels to push our culture into the next millennia!

Charlie Bo Barley said...

Grampy, what did you think of Let It Be... Naked (the remixed album with Phil Spector's lush overdubs stripped out)? It didn't sound quite right to me, I guess cuz I've heard it the old way for over 3 decades.

Happy Thanksgrumping everybody!

Geritopia said...

Yeah, it was wrung sort of sterile, wasn't it? Overall, I wouldn't say Let It Be was ruined but just rendered in a different listening terrain (if that sounds pompous enough)... it was a bit computery-crispy-smug, sure. Paul sued the Beatles for the Spector orchestra and everyone in the band went off the rails finding an excuse to sue each other. Grumpypuss is all for that. OK, time to move on and discuss whatever happened to Mark Spitz.

C'mon, the Grampy-Wonder-Mystery-Colostomy-Bus is waiting to take you away to Vegas to see the show. It's all on me for the holiday. Pile(s) in!