Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Babies as Tools of Corruption

It's one thing to yield to folks pushing a baby stroller, that's fine. However, it's another thing when someone's barreling through a crowd and aggressively using a baby carriage like a cow catcher. I see this happening more all the time. It's my contention that people are having babies just so they can cut a swathe and enjoy quicker access to things in the hustle of an urban environment. You wouldn't dare stand in the way of an oncoming perambulator. No, that would make you a roguish cad. And that's where the limitless sense of entitlement while strolling babies gets its nefarious start. It begins quite innocently, but the baby "pusher" soon learns of his/her power --how to make people melt, as the toddler fleeces purses and wallets; how to get to the front of any line just by blindly cutting ahead at 80 mph, etc.

When will the madness ever end?

16 comments:

Joey Polanski said...

"Im tellin ya, those fidgits can talk!"

Anonymous said...

These are the next generation of "Soccer Moms?" They even have formed websites to share info as to gang-up on the innocent bystander with (http://www.webperambulatormuseum.com).

Another similar group that merits warning, are the "Wheelchair People." One wouldn't think that they would be a dangerous group. But I can't tell you how many times that they have ran over my feet or slammed into my shins just like the Perambulator Crowd often does.

These groups know all too well that if you even make one peep, they we easily turn the milling around crowd into a "Tar & Feather the Bum" Mob in an instance.

And yet it was predicted long ago in ancient scriptures that when these last two groups would turn to such rude savagery, the Space People would come to rescue the worthy. And or hand out booklets on how to be more pleasant and polite...........

Geritopia said...

maybe this blog wasn't such a good idea after all.

simple said...

Hmph. Babies. It's an excuse to buy a Suburban and expand the basic asinine behavior built in to so many people. Just another possesion to wield. Like owning a BMW or something. Shove those carriages out into traffic without a glance for safety. I don't think most of those parents care about their kids at all. Get a nanny, be on your way. "I got all the cool crap, I win!"

Geritopia said...

again, maybe this blog wasn't such a good idea after all.

Cocovan said...

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The Gold State said...

Sometimes, I swear, some people get murdered on purpose, just so they can have a big, slow funeral procession through town, making everybody wait for them, while they wallow in self-pity. “Oh poor me! I was murdered!” Give me a break!
Talk about drama queens!

Geritopia said...

give this man a cigar

Anonymous said...

Dear Editor,

Oh my God! Sarcasm has reached a new level of absurdity here @ Geritopia. Is nothing scared? Never mind, I'm sure you'll mock "nothing" at some point too.

But do you ever let other differing viewpoints be expressed here too?

I represent "Moms In A Hurry" (MIAH) and excuse us if we seem to bully our way through the maddening crowds of X-mas shoppers, but we're on a tight schedule.

You can't even begin to comprehend the neediness a baby cramps upon one's lifestyle. I used to have a life before I was fired from work for having this "Brat" (because of his father's spoiling of course).

You try walking in our slippers for one day before you mock us!

Thank-you.

Respectfully,
MIAH

P.S. We prefer if you use the term "Baby Strollers" too.

Anonymous said...

What the heck is sxfhxocd?

Aren't they (parents) referred to as "Breeders" in a malicious tone of voice?

No wonder, just look at this place:

Mega Time Wasting Parents

Anonymous said...

Oh yeh, this subject was a good idea. Rile um up.

Anonymous said...

o i thought this said "barbies as tools of corruption," and i thought, "well, fuck yeah!" instead tho, i think, "well, hell yeah!" let's do lunch...

Geritopia said...

I'm clearly not politically adept enough to trounce the Barbie mythology. There are many intellectual treatises already premised on the subject. Moreover, I think children make their own statement quite handily by pulling Barbie heads off by the score. My faith resides with them.

Anonymous said...

Now everyone.....I totally understand the anxiety and frustration you're all feeling during this "Holiday Season" with all these "Frantic Shoppers" in your faces reminding us all that over population isn't a theory anymore....but an actuality (at least in the cities).

So let's all just take a chill pill, along with a deep cleansing breath, and remember this......that we were all once "Little Ones" too :)

In Deep Appreciation,
Pocahanas

P.S. As a remedy to the issue that you raised here with your blog, I strongly feel that there should be some new legislation outlawing the "Inappropriate Speeding Baby Buggy Syndrome," thus clearing the way to bring back the traditional Papoose. Now that was the ultimate "Baby Transporter" where the baby never lost eye contact with his or her mother. Perhaps the babies of today forget after hours of strolling, just who's pushing them around. It must be very lonely in the front seat of such a fast moving out-of-control (in their minds) vehicle.

Anonymous said...

maybe the babies are the ones in control? They know no rules, they know no bounds. Anarchistic little troublemakers.

linduh said...

for some reason my "barbies/babies" comment showed me as anonymous, yet i do not care to remain anonymous...i am proud of my comment and would like my name attached to it, thank you; moreover, i like the word verifications here--i feel @ home