Sunday, December 04, 2005

Ventriloquism for the Living

Many readers have emailed me with the following concern: "How can I start my own collection of creepy anonymous photos like those featured on Geritopia? The task seems so monumental. It'd take me years to build up a collection like that, and yet the desire is like an unrelenting burning in my bosom!" Yes dear friends, amassing odd photos from estate sales and thrift stores is the kind of activity best left to trained professionals like me. Time spent sifting through piles of decaying photographs must be followed by thorough delousing, as well as checking for tics and silverfish on my person. Beyond this, the hazards are too many to list.

Here's good news and a handy tip for you beginners... Many candid photos can be collected digitally right here on the internet by simply word-searching "ventriloquist" on a certain popular auction site (hint --"BayE-ay" in pig latin). Yes, that's right. I guarantee that you will find loads of images to satisfy your voyeuristic cravings for ventriloquist dummy shots! ...And I think you know what I mean!

sexy captain stubing love doll

For example, this lot was grabbed this evening in less time than it takes to shake the tail of a common lamb two times in succession. Inspirational? You bet!

front-runner candidate for the maybelline party

i lost 3 lbs... ask me how

views do not reflect those of geritopia


Joey Polanski said...

THIS is Geritopia of th FINEST quality!

But th Maybelline party? Try th friggin Nazi Party! Who da heck IS that? Heil Hitler Doody?

Cocovan said...

You can learn alot from a DUMMY!

Anonymous said...

Dear Geritopia,

I know how difficult it can be dealing with puppets/dummies, for they are not always as docile as they may seem as they pretend to be ignorant Imbisouls asleep in their un-animated states of consciousness. "Doppleganger Zombies" often just play the dummy role....but don't be fooled by their sincere overtones, for beneath hides evil chicanery.

Just look at such spooky stories such as "Pinocchio" and "Frankenstein" for crying out loud. These "Raising from the Dead Creatures of the Night" have a way of coming back to attack their masters!

Look no further than Dick Edgemont's classic film "Dumb Puppet" ( as to where I'm coming from.

Never sleep in the same room as these "Jealous of the Living" who have an entire agenda unbeknown to us.

Consider yourselves warned!

Master of Puppeteers,
Dick Cheny