Many readers have emailed me with the following concern: "How can I start my own collection of creepy anonymous photos like those featured on Geritopia? The task seems so monumental. It'd take me years to build up a collection like that, and yet the desire is like an unrelenting burning in my bosom!" Yes dear friends, amassing odd photos from estate sales and thrift stores is the kind of activity best left to trained professionals like me. Time spent sifting through piles of decaying photographs must be followed by thorough delousing, as well as checking for tics and silverfish on my person. Beyond this, the hazards are too many to list.
Here's good news and a handy tip for you beginners... Many candid photos can be collected digitally right here on the internet by simply word-searching "ventriloquist" on a certain popular auction site (hint --"BayE-ay" in pig latin). Yes, that's right. I guarantee that you will find loads of images to satisfy your voyeuristic cravings for ventriloquist dummy shots! ...And I think you know what I mean!