Friday, December 23, 2005

People Get On Board The Rambling Free-Association Train

It's before the 8 am 'courtesy hour'. There's already some giant butthole outside my window with a gasoline-powered tree branch cutter, ushering in a new day in noise-pollution hell: 'gurrrr-eeeEEE!!! gurrrrr-eeeeeeeeeEEEEEEE gurrrr-EEEEE putt-putt-putt -eeeEEEE!!!!!' over and over until finally riding roughshod over my tender teddy-bear's-picnic dream. So now I'm relegated to propping myself up, with billows of steam coming out of my ears and a mussed-up blue velvet suit, doing this "blog". FOR WHAT???

You still here?

So, 2 days ago The Gold State sent in the following commentary: "Sometimes, I swear, some people get murdered on purpose, just so they can have a big, slow funeral procession through town, making everybody wait for them, while they wallow in self-pity."

I want to tie Gold State's analysis in with another quote I found regarding the history of the New Orleans "Jazz funeral": As the Brass Band became increasingly popular during the early 18th Century, they were frequently called on to play processional music. Eileen Southern in The Music of Black American wrote, "On the way to the cemetery it was customary to play very slowly and mournfully a dirge, or an 'old Negro spiritual' such as "Nearer My God to Thee," but on the return from the cemetery, the band would strike up a rousing, "When the Saints Go Marching In', or a ragtime song such as "Didn't He Ramble."

Now I wonder, what other complementary pairing of songs might there be for such an occasion? First the dirge, followed by the "celebrate-a-life" tune, rendered in the Jazz idiom...

How 'bout:

Instant Karma - Autobahn

It's Too Late Baby - We Are Family

Ball of Confusion (or Ball of Confucianism) - Sugar Pie Honey Bunch

Miss You - Theme From Shaft

Ain't No Sunshine - Having My Baby

Smoke on the Water - Cocain

Morning has Broken - Afternoon Delight

Highway to Hell - Benny and the Jets

Butthole with a Gas-Powered Branch Cutter - Blog for Your Bloodshot Eyes Only

Without You - My Sherona

[Frankly, what does it matter, as long as it's a song from the 70s? You simply pull any 70s title out of a hat and people are likely to laugh. All those memories are yours on this stellar collection, for only $19.95 ! Operators standing by.]

7 comments:

simple said...

When is the last time you were up this early? You do your best work now. Try it more often.

Good idea, it puts the "Fun" back in FUNeral. But what happens while New Orleans is still submerged? It is isn't it?

Joey Polanski said...

"Groovy Kinda Love" - "Whip It"

Anonymous said...

FUNERAL PARADE SONGS

Funeral for a Friend - 1st then 2nd Part (Elton John)
The End.......Break On Through (Doors)
Rock 'n' Roll Suicide.....Golden Years (David Bowie)
Yer Blues.........Good Day Sunshine (Beatles)
Wish You Were Here.......Money (Pink Floyd)
Hurting for You......All the Children Sing (Todd Rundgren)
When the Levee Breaks.......Dancing Days Are Here Again (Led Zeppelin)
The Reveling Science of God........I've Seen All Good People (Yes)
Too Old to Rock 'n' Roll: Too Young to Die........Skating Away (Jethro Tull)
It's Just a Matter of Time.......Good Vibrations (Beach Boys)
Born Under a Bad Sign......I Feel Free (Cream)
Dead Flowers.........Jumpin' Jack Flash (Rolling Stones)
Everybody Hurts.........Shiny Happy People (REM)
Goodbye to Love (Carpenters).........Always Look On the Bright Side of Life (Monthy Python)
Bridge Over Troubled Waters (Simon & Garfunkle)........Here Comes the Sun (Beatles)
All By Myself (Eric Carmen).......Groove Is In The Heart (Dee Lite)
You Don't Bring Me Flowers (Barbara Streisand).......Dancing Queen (Abba)
Tears in Heaven (Eric Clapton)......Night Fever (Bee Gees)

Compiled by
Dick Edgemont

Geritopia said...

now you're cookin' with gas.

ss said...

Hate to be so picky and rain on yer parade, but I think “Instant Karma” hardly qualifies as a “dirge”. Likewise “Ball of Confusion”. A dirge is a slow, solemn, mournful song or hymn of sorrow. Something more like “Scotty Dirge” works best.

Geritopia said...

As we are familiar with those respective tunes, yes you are correct sir! They could be re-styled, however, slowed down. Then they'd work as a dirge or sound like a Barry White tune you'd want to make love to.

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